Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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