she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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