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• (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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• (925): View more from California

  Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  well, dont

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We better fuck soon then

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.

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