SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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