if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
