Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
