She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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