you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
soo... how was my night?
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