I wanna bring you to show and tell
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
