2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
