one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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