I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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