To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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