if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
