I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize