By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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