You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so let's talk penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
