Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
