dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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