I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
