About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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