sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
