don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
