She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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