Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
