I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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