so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
