i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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