He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
