how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
