So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
