Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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