Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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