Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
