That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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