if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need moral support for this bender
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
