He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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