I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
