I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize