Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
