I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
