My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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