apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
