people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am available for nakedness
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
