I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
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I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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