so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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