Jerry, you need to find god
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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