After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
