So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she looked like the before picture.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
