Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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