Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
