Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
