i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
