the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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