if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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