He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
