oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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