I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
