I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
